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Dream world
My earliest memory is of my mother screaming as she tried to throw me out of a second-storey window.
As a child I had this recurring nightmare, hands gripping me under the arms, my feet dangling mid-air with nothing beneath me.
When I asked my mother about it, she brushed it off, said it was just a bad dream. My father, however, was a little more forthcoming. 'She was drunk' he told me by way of explanation. When I pressed my mother again and told her I knew it really happened, she admitted it. 'You just wouldn’t stop crying,' she said. 'I was at my wits’ end.'
Apparently, I’d been crying since the day I was born, and the whiskey she’d slip into my bottle had stopped having the desired effect
I was never much of a dreamer. If I dreamt at all, it was of escaping my parents, convinced that freedom from them would solve all my problems in one fell swoop. I didn’t fantasise about the future, I was far too busy dealing with the demands of the present.
I’ve always thought of myself as a shrinking violet, someone who keeps a low profile to avoid drama. Yet, when trouble comes knocking, I somehow find the nerve to face it head-on.
I’ve had a fair few traumatic experiences in my long life including being detained at airport customs and hauled before UK magistrates and my Dublin home being raided by police. I’ve been libelled by both the Dutch newspapers and television (I should have sued), which culminated in armed police kicking down the door of my Amsterdam holiday rental. I could go on, but I am a woman given to brevity
What surprises me most is that I’ve come through it all relatively unscathed. These days, I feel bulletproof, as if there’s nothing the world can throw at me that I haven’t already deflected or stared down.
Have I ever had a radical thought? No. Not that I recall. My thinking is moderate, conservative. Though I do think that government should be outlawed and anyone even heard to utter the word should be disposed of… humanely of course.
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Posted in response to galenkp's weekend experience
prompt asking "What is earliest childhood memory and why has it stuck with you? Where would you be right now in life (personally or professionally) if you had followed your dreams?What shocks or surprises you about yourself? Explain.
What’s the most radical thought you've had and why?
The images are mine
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Comments
31 commentsha.
😁
🙃With just one word you express so much!
oh my god, thrown from the window and whiskey in the bottle, madness
It's no wonder I am the way I am:)
you aren't a murder or a drug addicted so it didn't turn out too bad 😅
Hahaha, there's still time!
It might be considered by some a strenth( which undoubtedly is) and look up to it, but I guess it is, for some as well (me imcluded), an unwanted strenth since one has to go through a lot(the kind of lot one sometimes don't wish even for an enemy) to get to be bullet proof. Strenth out of deep woundorousness is a hard way to get armored, though it insists on charging against one, life should be a pleasant road( not exempt of obstacles, challenges, troubles and lessons) to go through.
Who told you that? I think life is a series of obstacles to overcome ...and then you die:)
Well, having obstacles doesn't mean there's no pleasure. I've felt pleasure many times in overcoming obstacles.
It's just the way I see it, maybe the way I want it or have wanted anyway. Yet, it's not gonna happen and even if it does, I'm not sure it matters to me much this far. Blows have been recieved and certainly there are more to come for sure.
Still, between you and me...
Damn!
🙃🙃
Moderate, conservative thoughts only huh?
Humane disposal. I could probably come up with a few ways, although they're probably not moderate.
You know me Mr. G. Moderation in everything!
I'm depending upon it. When I come into my kingdom your role as executioner in chief is guaranteed.
Indeed, I've applied much "moderation" in my day when required, and will again.
I think my brand of moderation will be of great use and much sought after in your Kingdom.
Hahaha, I reckon so. Isn't one man's moderation another man's off with all their heads!
Yes, it all comes down to how one perceives things.
Ah bless you, dear friend... Your horror story around the window reminds me of that state that I occupied as a child,not knowing if my nightmares were from sleeping hours or not. It is a great soul who signs up for this kind of resolution of lineage trauma, and it is powerful for me too, to read your humourous and light discourse around your past 🪷🙏🤗 Myself, I still tend to dwell a tad on the heaviness of it at times, but a mutually-ridiculously-funny twinflame helps transform everything 😍🌷🌟💝 Happiness & peace to you 🌼
You hit the nail on the head! Once I found out that the nightmare was real, it ceased.
I always try to find comedy in tragedy. To quote Beckett '“Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that. Yes, yes, it’s the most comical thing in the world.”'.. But your ridiculously funny twinflame runs a close second:)
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
🙏💖🌟🪷 Thank you, @friendlymoose and @topcomment 🤗
https://x.com/lee19389/status/1931690879405748633
#hive #posh
What to say my dear? Your experiences may have been more extreme than many--they almost have the value of theater--but they still strike a chord. You are honest and frank but never turn the blog into opera.
I hate conflict and dread being the center of attention. But bring a fight to me and I will be a fierce opponent. I think your past and my past prepared us to be warriors, when necessary.
As for having a radical thought--wishing away government might be considered radical by some 😄
As always, a great blog.
As always, a great comment!:)
Before I started writing for Steem/Hive I didn't realise the extent of the drama. And you know what Becket said '"If you can't hide the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."
I don't consider wishing away government is at all radical. Radical would be building a guillotine.😆
😂
Now that's an interesting first memory! Traumatic, just as all the others, but it does win the price of the craziest one. Holy moly...
I always joke that the Vitamix we use to make peanut and almond butter and such is perfect to dispose of whatever needs to be disposed. One has to be very careful as it can chop off fingers and grind bones quite easily. Just so you know not to put your hand in there. Also: Dry content, wet content, mixed content - there's a container for everything. Food, of course. Talking about food...
Ten out of ten for ingenuity and I will keep it in mind, but I'm not sure the Vitamix would be up to the job with the huge pile of
politiciansmixed content to be processed.Let me know if you find a solution that is more politically correct!
I can imagine that your experiences made you bulletproof indeed. Having gone through so much woud do that. Your first memory was the start of it all. I guess you are now a big advocate for sobreity. By the way. your brevity did not provide much clarity and yes you shuld have sued especially being that it's not a litigious society here hence they get away with a lot.
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STOPIf you survive all that, then nothing left but to chill and enjoy the rest of this thing called life. Makes me appreciate the parents I had ..
The Covid nonsense prompted my retirement to pursue a life of chilling and enjoyment behind 7 ft walls, a gate without an intercom and four savage dogs. There are just too many numbskulls out there.