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I'm Selfish and I Know It
I don't think what I am about to write is some new groundbreaking philosophy. In fact, it is basically just a layman's translation of B.F. Skinner's psychological theory of Operant Conditioning. I'd imagine the vast majority of you might be thinking "The what of who?" But for teachers, this is one of the theories that is crammed down our throats from our first educational psychology course.
And yes. Principal Skinner is 100% named after that B.F. Skinner.
But it is OK if you have never taken an educational psychology course. This theory, just like most of the things educational "gurus" try to sell school districts is just common sense. It goes a little like this... now hear me out... come closer. You can get a person to do something... if you give them a reward (positive reinforcement)! What? No way!!!! But I swear it's true.
But wait. I'm not done. You can also get someone to do something if you remove something unpleasant (negative reinforcement). Something like "I'll stop screaming Cher's 'Believe' once you take out the garbage." Yep. That works too... shocking!
And for the cherry on top, get this... if you want someone to stop doing something, you can punish them. This is why you can actually get a teenager to listen as long as you can (and will follow through with) taking away their phone. Or if you really want to fuck with them, let them keep their phone but throttle down the Wi-Fi speed so their computer freezes every 10 seconds when they are watching a YouTube video.
There you go. Now you are all experts in B.F. Skinner's groundbreaking and brilliant theory of Operant Conditioning.
But wait. I still have a point to make. Earlier today @bozz wrote a great post about commenting on posts on Hive and whether or not one should comment if the other person does nothing back. He wondered if it were selfish to stop commenting in these situations. Since I am a trained expert in Operant Conditioning (just like you are now), it took me about two seconds to answer an emphatic "Yes... but who cares? You're an awesome, genuine guy."
<img alt=" "Screenshot 2026-02-12 at 9.28.43 AM.png"" src="https://images.hive.blog/DQmPANo5kWq8j1taUq4xizo5jaJQSt2n1pxKCW9ASrKnQRD/Screenshot%202026-02-12%20at%209.28.43%E2%80%AFAM.png">
But let me explain. Remember that Skinner guy? According to him (and common freaking sense) we are all selfish. We only do things for one of three reasons: to get a reward, to remove something unpleasant, or to avoid a punishment. Duh!
But here's my added spin. To me, the measure of a "good" person is what constitutes a reward, what causes them to feel unpleasant, and what acts as a punishment.
For me, being a "good" person just means you get rewards from doing "good" things. When someone helps a short old lady get a can from the top shelf of the store, it makes them feel good. Maybe they didn't consciously do this because they knew they were about to feel good about it, but the subconscious counts. Good subconscious = good person.
We can extended this out to the other two things that shape behavior. If a person looks at the woman struggling and feels unpleasant while watching them suffer so they walk over and lend a hand, that is a "good" person. They cared. Someone else's struggle ignited an unpleasant feeling in them that caused them to act. It is still selfish, they had the unpleasant feeling removed, but it is still good. the opposite would also hold true. If you feel pleasant when you see the woman struggling, I'd argue that is not being "good".
And finally the punishment. If a person sees the woman struggling and thinks "If I don't help her, I'm going to feel guilty all day." and then they help her, they are selfishly avoiding that punishment of feeling guilty. I'd argue the fact that they would think about this and feel guilty is another sign of being "good".
So for me, "good" or "bad" just comes down to what causes someone pleasure and pain. A "good" person is merely a selfish person (like we all naturally are) who derives pleasure from being kind and pain from being mean. While a "bad" person derives pleasure from being mean and pain from being kind. It is as simple as that.
So now what the heck does this have to do with commenting on Hive? Well we need to extend this out to things beyond "good" and "bad". That is just the emotional side. There is also a practical and mental side. We all also get practical rewards and punishment. Some people call this... money. Going to work only because you get a paycheck does not make you good or bad. It makes you a human who needs to eat. Not all rewards need to make you feel emotionally fulfilled. I'd argue that most don't. They are more practical.
We also all get "mental" rewards. These rewards might not help anyone else or earn you money, but they leave you mentally fulfilled. Maybe someone asks you a question that gets you thinking about a topic in a new way. Maybe you learn something new from an interaction. Maybe you read something that sparks a new thought or understanding.
So here was my answer to @bozz: Humans are naturally selfish. I'd argue that you should only do things that provide an emotional, practical, or mental reward. If you are not getting anything out of commenting, then that is a one sided relationship and those are very rarely healthy. Avoiding an unhealthy relationship is never selfish... well except for that whole negative reinforcement part.
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26 commentsSometimes I wonder if my brain is just usually in the wrong spot/modes consistently when I'm reading that and just thinking of CoD where you can have a character with swapped virtue/vice traits for fun and whimsy XD
or have two virtues or two vices but none of my players have ever tried that and I've never done it for a player character
After having watched people burning out and leaving at least partly because they kept commenting apparently due to other people's (real or perceived) expectation of receiving a comment from them I am definitely in favour of being selfish in that regard x_x
To be honest, I hadn't thought of it from that perspective, that we only perform activities expecting some reward or payment. Also, I hadn't heard of B.F. Skinner's theory, but it's interesting to read and try to understand everything it encompasses.
Thanks for this! You laid it down very well! I took the teacher test for certification when I was going to take that path in my life, but I never made it to any of the practical courses. I'm kind of shocked you didn't bust out a Venn diagram in your post though. That would have made it chef's kiss!
lol. Damn you’re right. I should go make a vent diagram now!
Of course, all the rewards we receive don't bring us happiness; we simply do them, perhaps out of habit. But the actions we perform from the heart do give us a feeling of satisfaction, which allows us to continue growing as people who live knowing that most of the time we do the right thing.
When I think of Skinner (the teacher in The Simpsons), I automatically remember the reflections he always shared about his experience in Vietnam 😆
On the other hand, I believe that behind our actions there is always a response that we all assume we deserve as a reward, and that is why there is always something to look forward to. I even believe that there are rewards that can move you from a point of view that you held until recently to something that contributes much more than you thought you had. It is a sign of great maturity not to let what others do not do lead us to question what we do, and in the absence of a possible reward, to be aware of what we are really worth 👍
I certainly hope to be rewarded whenever I post or comment and that is one of the appeals of Hive over other social networks. However, I don't think that financial reward can be the primary motivation. Otherwise, the whole place starts to sound like a bunch of AIs talking to each other. Of course, for most people, Hive doesn't offer THAT much of a financial reward anyway. I guess my point is I think everybody would be better off if they just wrote and commented on what interested them and let the financial rewards take care of themselves. Otherwise, your Hive experience is probably going to be an exercise in frustration vs. something enjoyable.
It's very interesting how you relate B.F. Skinner's theory to everyday social behavior. It's true that even when we "do good," there's an internal drive that remains selfish, but that's precisely the beauty of selfishness that leads to goodness.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/B88pO9SyANg
The rewards theory is quite common knowledge and used widely in ABA methods... But I never looked at it from your prospective... It makes sense, they are not phisical rewards (or phisical unpleasant things) but just emotional side
I'd say it's a mixed bag for me when it comes to whether someone comments back or not. Basically, if I enjoy reading what someone writes, that means I have some level of respect for what they write, usually, regardless of the topic. I am getting some self fulfillment, and I may learn something new, if it's on a philosophical especially. That's what I wanted from it, that's what I got from it regardless of any other reward. When it comes to Hive, it's a maintainer for staying here, no reward, no self fulfillment, why bother.
Now say, you read someone's stuff and they spent a considerable amount of times commenting back to you should you leave a comment, then one day, they just stop. Obviously, if they just plain stop, you did or said something to offend them, and consciously, after that, you feel guilty, like you are intruding on their space, not much self fulfillment if one starts to feel guilty because, obviously, they'd rather have you bug off. I don't take it lightly before deciding to bug off, I have to really feel something went wrong somewhere, it's the internet, could be something you said today, last night, last week, last month, who knows, too many places to go, to many things to do, just move on from it.
I am not the type of person who wants to spend time on people who just want to hate on something, it closes your perspective, leaves you in a position unable to be objective. Like the current Epstein debacle, I could write a few things that could lead people to believe I was trying to defend the man instead of looking inside the man at his core, not the level of focus to hate on one aspect of his behavior. Which is propaganda driven, which I've run out of patience for. Don't misunderstand that, you learn a lot from the propaganda machines but not if you can already predict what's going to be driven, that train already came and went. We already know it's "everybody hate on the sex offender" and here's some more evidence you need as to why. We have plenty of evidence, what we don't have is what drove this man, who was this man, and how did he manage his position and maintain it for so long. Give me that, and I may have time to listen. Because, underneath it all, is the reason for the cover up, and that's what they don't want you to know. Don't bother trying to feed a one hundred year history of hasidic judaism, it's not helping me figure out who the man was and I'd probably just end up realising they had a thing for grape juice. But grape juice don't give me the answers I want. For me to watch the propaganda spin machine, I have to be compelled by something other than pizza and soda pop, or a really compelling reason outside of pizza gate to overcome my impatience for the host, because the host is going to lead the guest to where I don't want to go. We already know he's a pizza loving, grape soda drinking pervert. What's new for today?
I agree with you, especially about the reward points, and there are multiple types of rewards, and everything we do, we do to get rewards. because at the end, the reward is involved there. People do good deeds because, in return, they want good things for themselves too.
The KARMA concept is the same
Really thoughtful take. I like how you flipped the idea of selfishness into something human and even necessary our motivations may be self centered, but what we choose to feel rewarded by says a lot about our character. That “good subconscious good person” line really stuck with me.
You have beautifully combined Skinner's theory with real-life selfishness and social media relationships. I think it is wise not to spend our time where there is no emotional or practical gain.
Yes, we are often selfish, but most people will do selfless things that give them no real gain apart from maybe feeling a little better about themselves (as you say). When it comes to life or death situations then you may see extreme cases, but you will see minor ones every day. If we were all totally selfish then the world would be much worse. It's bad enough with people trashing things for short-term gain.
I'm not looking for a debate, but I would say that you don't have to be religious to do good and being a believer does not necessarily make you a good person.
When it comes to Hive most of us are not getting rich. If we want it to gain value then we need to make it better for others so they stick around and encourage others to join. I do what is fun for me.
“ Yes, we are often selfish, but most people will do selfless things that give them no real gain apart from maybe feeling a little better about themselves (as you say)”.
That is the reward. But it is still a good act.
Interesting take on the selfish nature of people. Perhaps you are correct on this one. And yes, I agree, we do things not just because we consciously do those, like helping someone to take that can from the upper shelves, or crossing the road examples you gave. Subconscious plays a role, for sure.
I very much agree with you the things we do, including reading posts and commenting, engaging here on HIVE, should only be executed when one likes to do so. Perhaps indeed for one of the three reasons you gave: emotional, practical, or mental reward. Otherwise, it becomes a job aiming to collect money. The latter is for most a bummer, since the money part will never offset the amount of time spent, not for people living in the richer countries at least.
I'll have to dig deeper into life 'theories' such as Buddhism. At its core, Buddhism says: Help others, to gain happiness in our own life. Based on what you say, and the examples you gave, I am curious if the two are the same, or Buddhism may give a counterargument to what you bring forward. Did you ever try and figure this out?
I only know the basics of Buddhism (and I really love and respect the teachings I do know). But from what I understand, Karma could be seen as this reward. Also the ultimate goal is to reach the reward of Nirvana. One could also argue that having to be reincarnated because a soul did not reach enlightenment would be an example of negative reinforcement “you have to keep trying in this imperfect world until you get it right”. But like I said, I only know the surface. Buddha is very wise and may have spoken in this.
I hardly knw Buddihm as well.
Once I read a little book about the foundation of Buddhism, nothing about the religion that was invested later, Karma and reincarnation. Just the basics of how best to live, to find happenings. Amongst that was: Do good to others, and one will find the best happiness. Do not carry history around. Look forward and go with what is around. Do not hoard things. Approach what is around with curiosity, without assuming things beforehand. And such like that.
Defining goodness as having a subconscious that punishes you with guilt for not being helpful is a great way to look at it.
First of all, I want to say that the images you've used teach us a lot. If someone doesn't have time to read your entire post, they'll understand just by looking at the image.
Who isn't selfish? We all are; we'll always be thinking about our own well-being before that of others, but perhaps sometimes we exaggerate without thinking about how our decisions might hurt someone else.
If we are teaching in any institution, our goal should be to train children in such a way that they will be able to learn a lot of things in the future. We should tell them both the difficulties and the good things about the future life so that their knowledge can increase and their future life can be easy for them. Every person works hard for a reward, but there are some things in which if we work hard, we will definitely get a reward. We should always remember the benefits that this will bring to the children
I read your reply on bozz's post and this post as well. Great thoughts. While I disagree with your final conclusion ("humans are selfish" — as a 25 year Zen practitioner and Jungian psychological student, I don't think it's that simple. Both Jung and the Buddha would reject such a statement, and me too) I do like how you put everything.
And using Simpsons to do it — chef's kiss!
I definitely oversimplified things here. I would imagine if we (Buddha, Jung, you and I) sat down to talk about this, we might be able to find quite a bit of common ground.
If you like English literature you will be flabbergasted by this: [Literature] Charles Dickens: DOMBEY & SON 8/471