HiveComb

• The Dynamic Heart and the Work of Grace: Foundations of Progressive Sanctification in Biblical Counseling

• Progressive Nearness: Navigating the Messy Path of Sanctification and Perseverance

• Battlefield of Grace: The Doctrine of Perseverance and the Reality of the Christian Life

Reading the three articles above published by our instructor, I think it is best for me to address the idea of shame or self-judgment. After all, these are related to the idea of self-pity, unworthiness, and the feeling of being unloved, which are all quite an issue in our digital age, where everyone seems to prize their self-image or perception.

When we deal with contexts, particularly regarding shame, it is the most faithful concern of the counselor to remind the counselee of the truth stated in the article:

Despite our failures, God does not scold us but remains patient and kind until we get it at the right time.

And that,

There is nothing you can do that will make God love you more, and there is nothing you can do that will make God love you less.

The quotes above are widely accepted truths, but for the person who is in deep shame, these are hard to swallow. They have judged themselves so much that they forget God’s mercy is applicable to them and is available even to the vilest criminals. Their line of reasoning is characterized by a feeling of inadequacy and hopelessness. Yet that same feeling is proof they want to meet a standard of Christlikeness but feel powerless to do so.

Sometimes, the counselor needs to help the counselee to open their mouth and swallow this pill so that they may be cured. The solution is not more “power” to them, as if by the steeling of the will they could get out of their dilemma (if they could, they wouldn’t be counseled in the first place).

They do not need to make the pill themselves, nor should they neglect eating it or stop believing it works. In the same manner, the counselees are not the ones who would complete the process of change, which guards us from legalism. Nor should they resign in the battle of faith, which guards us from cynicism. Often, the solution is to be reminded of God’s love in the utter feeling of hopelessness, and it is the best antidote one could ever have.

Correction or harsh rebuke is for the proud, but for these Christians, sheep battered and bruised, gentle love is a must. So when we approach the counselee who is in deep sin, we must carefully guide them not to look introspectively and condemn themselves, but to guide them to look up and be reminded of their own mercies, which they have experienced before, and even now that it knocks.