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Who Should Control Our Digital Lives?
Australia’s ban on social media for children under 16 has triggered predictable reactions. I guess it's pretty dependent on how absolute your views are about government interference. If you believe the state should never intervene in individual lives, then the ban feels totalatarian, and usually I'd agree.
You know, laws like compulsory seatbelts and bike helmets were met with outrage when introduced, yet they dramatically reduced deaths and injuries. The reality was simple: people weren’t reliably protecting themselves or others, and intervention worked. Few today would argue those laws were a mistake. But other laws, like gun laws - well, in light of the horror of this week's Bondi massacre, we can see there's a bigger picture that's more complex. I mean, do guns kill people or do people kill people? Do we blame the gun or the political circumstances and divisions within our societies that give rise to such hate?
*Yes, I used AI for this. Because some tech has it's very valid uses.*
When it comes to our kids, most of us accept that protection sometimes requires limits - we allow them freedom, but teach them boundaries so they don't get hurt. We're horrified when systems fail to protect kids from abuse, neglect, or exploitation. Yet somehow I'm hearing that social media is a children's right. I feel uncomfortable with that. I know that some parents are pretty attentive to screen time, but even then, many kids are exposed to porn, violence, cyberbullying and relentless body-image pressures amplified by platforms like TikTok and Instagram. We're seeing the consequences and they're well documented: anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm, and suicide. We wouldn't let kids absolute freedom in, say, a dangerous city at night, and if we did, we probably need to check our ability to keep our kids safe.
Yes, these issues existed when I was young. I was bullied. I struggled with body image. But home was a refuge, a safe spot, my bedroom a place where the outside world stopped. For kids today, there is no such boundary. The internet lives in their pocket.
As a teacher, I’ve watched the impact unfold in real time. Attention spans have collapsed. Sustained reading feels impossible for many students. Studied novels become shorter, easier, because 'real' literature is never going to be read - at best, they'll be reading study guides or watching youtube summaries. Being “online” has replaced curiosity, boredom, and imagination. For boys, the rise of the manosphere has offered belonging at the cost of misogyny and radicalisation. I’ve seen content so extreme normalised that students genuinely can’t see the harm - for example, last week Jamie came home to say that boys in his year 8 class had screen savers of a cartoon guy fucking a pig. I know, right?
Of course, banning social media won’t fix everything, and kids are already finding loopholes, including parents logging in for their kids. Online aruments revolve around parent responsibility, children's rights, government surveillance. Will we have to give our ID to Facebook to prove we are 18? If that happens, I'm definitely out.
I'm glad to see a lot of teenagers admitting they want limits. They know how this relatively new tech damages their mental health, their sense of self. Even older kids are saying they wish the ban was around when they were younger. Maybe they too would have a chance to grow brains that weren't hijacked, like ours are, by algos. They'll be able to play, read, imagine, develop resilience before being thrown into the digital shit show.
But there's something else really interesting about this. Even if it doesn't work, what's really fascinating about it is that we are starting to resist the behemoths that have kidnapped our lives. Should, we are asking, companies like Meta have that much control over political and social landscapes? Do we want their algorithms to brainwash our kids and indeed us? Where do the boundaries lie between our personal freedoms and our digital ones? What dangers do we face online? How much should tech companies be responsible for the safety of their users?
Who should control our digital lives? How much control do we actually have?
With Love,
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25 commentsIt's nice to be a digital hermit in this world. For example, I only have one resource where I write and read posts from 10 people (who write regularly). On YouTube, I choose the videos that interest me.
I was recently talking with my children, and we discussed what we watch on YouTube—whether we choose the videos or whether the videos choose us.
It's goodyou tall about these things with your kids. Teaching them to be aware of how they light be manipulated is good parenting. Then they are better informed to make good decisions.
I don't have an answer. But I think no matter who and how control our digital lives, the amount of corrupting information in the world is at a record high. So the role of the family and the role of the individual (a child or their parent/relative) become crucial in information hygiene.
With the web, Tiktok, each child is at the worst school and the worst company, with exceptional morons at the next desk.
My friend Tom's kids could not have social media until 18. My son didn't have it until he moved out at 18.5 years. I shudder when I see 4 and 5 year olds (or younger) playing on cell phones. They are oblivious to the world around them. I think it's a good thing, the ban, though I'm sure some will try to subvert it.
I'm not sure how the authorities enforce this ban but whatever they do I'm sure kids are going to find ways to get around it if they're desperate enough. For them, nothing is gonna stop them.
Where I think the ban will work is for those kids and parents who do want to minimise social media interaction but don't have the means or will power to do it. I'm sure there are lots of them around who will welcome this
I think the tech companies have to come up with ways to keep them off. Still, there will be ways, and some parents help their kids get around it too. But I think it'll help parents setting limits as well as sometimes that's a real battle!
Years ago I hoped that things like Hive would help give freedom with responsibility, but it hasn't caught on. I liked the discussions here and opportunity to dream, but in 2025 it looks dark. People seem to prefer brain rot. Maybe gen alpha will come to enjoy a place to think without being distracted. But what I get in elementary school is "6,7!!!!" It's interesting because this is not only Korea nut globally. More and more the kids are influenced by the same slop. Personally I'd like to say I taught my kids to think and gave them time to play. Now they are older and have to make their own decisions.
Oh God, 6 7 lol. At least ore internet you have more varied memes globally 😂
I don't think government bans are a good idea and can't replace parenting and education. Besides, the restrictions are easy enough to get around if you know how...and all kids will know how in pretty short order.
I agree, but it does push responsibility onto the tech companies which can only be a good thing. Also you can hope parents will take responsibility, and many try, but they don't understand what they're up against and kids often find a way to circumvent parenting too.
I am all for the ban, even if it doesn't work. I think parents should ultimately take responsibility for their kids, but the problem is, many parents are not good at it. The way they let kids use social media is one thing, but the same parent s seem to also be unable to provide healthy food, or suitable activity.
Most do not realise how much control and influence the data companies have. It would be interesting to get a full list of everything they know and how they could use it at an individual level.
Most parents have no fucking idea. They're too liberal, give kids too much freedom and don't think of the impact on their brains. Years ago I was in a video shop and the idiot mum was asking the clerk about horror movies for her 13 year old. No idea with how they damage the developing brain. I had to interject. She was horrified but out the videos back. Ignorance might be bliss for adults but it hurts their kids.
And those same kids, we have to put up with them when they're adults, and hope they can run the world. They aren't just the parent's kids, they are the world's.
It's sad that most people are not good at being parents. But from what I've seen, our culture / society does a pretty poor job at preparing them too. Of course, it doesn't help that most of us work long hours, and have to face an avalanche of other responsibilities in their off-time.
As for the data companies' power, I would not be surprised if they actually benefited from the ban in some weird roundabout way. For example, when people start figuring out how to get around it, tech companies may want to see some official documentation before they let you log in. At that point @riverflows says she'd be out, and I'm totally with her. But what then?
Seat belts and bike helmets probably do work, but making laws to enforce their use? I don't think so. I'm reminded of a conversation on my bike journey (passing through Humptulips, Washington) where we filled up our bottles from a garden hose, saying: "We're from the in-between generation that drinks from the hose but wears helmets."
Even imagining a law that would try to keep me from drinking from the hose makes me chuckle. - Though here in Mexico there have been such efforts to discourage people from drinking municipal tap water in favor of buying bottled water. Of course in the name of our well being!
I thought Australia had pretty strict gun laws already. But clearly, that doesn't keep people from getting one if they really want to. Or if they do, people will find another way to cause massive harm, such as driving a motor vehicle into a crowd. It has happened...
Will we have to give our ID to Facebook to prove we are 18? If that happens, it just goes to show that it has never been about the children's health and safety.
So how do I think parents should effectively protect their kids online? I suggest teaching them to identify the venom on the internet, become aware of what it does, calling it out for what it is, and staying away from it. Of course this is a long and ongoing process, which requires ideally more than two parents. But I'm sure friends, neighbors, and interested families can get together to do this. Kinda like how kids are collectively taught not to play with poisonous snakes and spiders (honestly, something I can only imagine, but supposedly is part of the Australian reality - please verify or correct me otherwise).
In Australia we are in the unique position of having had the law for so long we don't even think about it and just do it. It's almost instinctual. I wouldn't dream of not putting my belt on. I mean, I suppose the fine would suck but I also don't want to go through the windscreen. I'm glad they enforced these things. I'm not sure I would have been so consistent if it wasn't law.
I get the hosepipe thing, and I get we need to exercise our own freedoms and make our own choices, but sometimes a blanket law is worth it if it makes a difference. It's over regulation that frustrates me.
that doesn't keep people from getting one if they really want to.
Absolutely !! We do have strict laws unlike America access to assault rifles is hard. Those guys had shot guns. Imagine the carnage if they had assault rifles. And yep they totally can find other ways. But we also don't walk around with guns on our hips and in our bags. I definitely don't think guns are the problem here though. More increasing hate and division in the world and ASIO having one of them on a watch list but not checking he had six guns? Whatever Albanese does will be knee jerk but we also don't want to end up like the US.
I could not agree more. But they don't. As @tarazkp says in his comment above, parents are busy, teenagers don't do what they're told, parents don't really understand what is our there in digital spaces at all. "I wish I'd known, I wish he talked to me' from the kid who suicides from being bullied online. Parents don't know half of what kids do and the battle to keep kids from being under covers with their phone til 2 am? I mean I turned off the wifi at 10 every night and made Jarrah out his tech in the loungeroom. You bet that's a hell battle in most households. And honestly there's a lot of people out there who aren't great parents and / or are hopeless at setting limits. So I'm thinking the ban will make parenting a little easier.
Oh no we all have poisonous spiders as pets. Mine was called Sally and she helped with my homework. We wear snakes as scarves in winter and the help keep away other predators like crocodiles, unless you use one to ride to school but that's only up north.
Snakes and spiders: 😅 😂 🤣
But honestly, what a beautiful example you provided for an ideal setting, just begging to be applied to the context of Inernet dangers. One where kids know exactly about bullying, body-shaming, and cyber-violence, AND know how to react to it. They'd use it to exemplify the undesirable, and stick together to keep each other from becoming victims to it. They were probably shown by their parents, aunts, neighbors, teachers, friends' parents, etc. until they have become so good at it that they teach their younger peers. Oh, what a lovely ideal setting.
Back to reality, I have to agree with @tarazkp that most parents are too busy and unaware. And yes, I take his word for it, after reading several of his post where he discusses the challenges of parenting, even in a socially friendly place, like the one he lives in. Not being a parent myself, I can only respect this.
Still, the idea of surrendering to some ginormous entity far away just rubs me the wrong way, no matter if it's the government or a tech company.
I totally agree with you. I'm always about balance so can definitely see both sides... I think someone has to do away with the power tech companies have, and I don't think kids should be online the way they are... So I also think this really isn't a bad rule especially coz we don't allow kids to drink etc. idk. We will see.
This may drift into another topic but after writing my comment yesterday, I kept thinking about how the biggest problem mentioned is that parents have no time for their kids. And then there is the question being raised a lot these days, as to how people would spend their time if IA took all our jobs? Well, teaching our children seems like an obvious answer. And here I would probably even include each other's children, as well as grown adults, who may need some nice care and attention.
Your points are all well taken yet my feeling is that the real motivation is to require digital ID for those who are not underage. You can drive trucks through the loop holes and the DarkNet is a browser download away. The argument is good yet not convincing to me. Oz seemed the test ground to how far they could push the COVID mandates. Is it a coincidence that they are pushing again in the Five Eyes world?
Yep I hear ya. Can't help but feel distrust also. And we are a compliant lot here as well. We do live in the lucky country as far as we all believe, so everyone accepts whatever "safety" mandates come out..
However, covid rules would NEVER stand now. No one would listen, even here. What they did was make us distrust them entirely, BUT it was worse in our state too, it varied across the country.
Look if we went offline it's no real loss. We survived before.
Yep, pre-World Wide Web I ran a Bulletin Board System. Basically a computer that answered the phone and one could log in to do such things as Email. We were so proud of our Citadel Network that would relay the email through a series of computers across the continent. Calling automatically during the cheap time for long distance calls. We would brag how our Email System could get an Email coast to coast in no more than 2 days.
Times were slower then. 😃
Ah bring on the AI apocalypse and snail mail. It would slow time down in a delicious way.
I had so much joy reading the comments on this post. I have nothing further to add, other than this will be an interesting gestation period to see where online these kids do end up. How they will develop differently from those that came before and had "it all", and what dangers or bounties lurk beyond the mainstream.
Update: @riverflows, I paid out 3.440 HIVE and 0.305 HBD to reward 6 comments in this discussion thread.