HiveComb

I didn't even notice when work became my whole life. It did start small though, like staying back a little to finish up a report, taking my laptop home "just in case", skipping one or two hangouts because I had "Something important" to do, and many others. Before I knew it, I have turned into the man who was always busy.

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*** I joined the company four years ago and back then, I was just another junior staff hoping to be noticed. I didn't have any strong connections, no uncle in the system, nothing. So I decided that my hard work would speak for me. And it did.

Then Olly came into the picture. She worked in the marketing, she was always full of energy, always talking and always laughing. Anyone could hear her voice before they even saw her. I used to think she talked too much and was too loud, but after the day she made me laugh, really laugh, after a long and stressful day, that was it. Before long, Olly somehow found her way into my space.

She often used to stop by my office to make fun of how serious I appeared, and she also brought me lunch occasionally. Olly and I had conversations almost every day, and all I did was act like I wasn't interested but I was enjoying every minute of it.

"Dude, why are you so quiet?" Olly said to me one day while we were chatting.

"I believe you talk enough for the both of us" I responded to her with a smile.
I couldn't hold my laughter when she dramatically gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.
"Are you saying I'm a talkative?" She asked. I said nothing but shake my head still wearing a smile.

I have no idea how it turned into love, but it happened. It was actually easy with Olly. Peaceful.
She balanced me. While I was rigid, Olly was free.

Everything changed fast when the company we worked for announced that they were opening a new branch in Abuja. The position for Head of Operations came up and I was shortlisted. I had worked for that kind of recognition all my life. My colleagues at the office kept saying, "Dayo, this is your chance."
They were right.

But Olly was quiet when we had a discussion about the offer. It took her quite some time to ask me, "So does this mean you are going to leave me?"

"Only for sometime" I said, even though I was not sure how long the sometime really was going to be.

Olly nodded. "You deserve it. You really do". Then she smiled.

What else could I have said to her? Assuring her that we would make it work was an option, but we both knew that distance takes a toll on relationships. There was also the option of remaining home and waiting until we are both ready to relocate to Abuja together.
Olly couldn't just leave Lagos now. Her parents, siblings, work and everything was here. And I didn't want to sleep on such an opportunity.

Everything changed quickly when I finally moved to Abuja. New office, team, faces and more responsibility. I was in meetings constantly, barely eating properly and barely sleeping. The pressure was bad, but the praises were good and I let it fill the silence Olly used to occupy.

We still talked, at least at first. Short calls, random messages and pictures. Until the late replies, unanswered messages and unanswered calls started. Mostly from my end. I was always busy with work. I texted her one day and got no reply. A day passed and then another. I got her reply a week later, meanwhile, I had completely forgotten that I sent her a text one week ago.

You are becoming someone that I can no longer reach

Olly's text said.
I didn't respond. I told myself that it was just the distance talking. She would come around. So I gave her some time and space to come around. She didn't.

Many months later, I saw a post on social while scrolling through. In the post, Olly wore a white dress and had a big smile on her face, while a man stood next to her holding her hands. The caption said forever. My heart did ache when I saw it, but what I was feeling then was not exactly regret, rather, it was a feeling of lose.

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*** I still work late these days. I still chase goals, still attend meetings and still collect praises that doesn't mean much anymore. I miss Olly. A lot. But I don't talk about her, it's not like saying something would change something. People come and go, and regardless, life keeps on moving. Though, I won't lie and say that the few occasions when I'm leaving work and I see couples walking along hand in hand or where I pass by a restaurant, that I do not think back to where I was lucky enough to enjoy things like that with Olly. How light everything felt with Olly before my ambition became too loud.

It's not that I regret what I chose. It's just that I have learned a lot about since it happened - You win some, you lose some. That is life. The winning and praises is good enough on some days but other days, I can't help but think about what might have been if I wasn't in such a hurry to get everything I thought I wanted.

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